Field Update!

Hello from Jinja, Uganda!

Our time has been packed full, and the internet has been pretty weak out here- so maybe don't count on any updates through the week. I'll do my best. :)

Since arrival, I had the chance to see a few loved ones in Kampala. We went to my old church, Ggaba Community Church on Sunday morning and I saw many of the Doors family. We drove up to a cheering Angela, and I was welcomed by a smiley Mallory hug. The boys didn't know I was coming, so it was fun to see their surprised faces. Richard (age 16ish) turned in disbelief to Angela and said, "Is that the real Auntie Sam? It can't be!"

Sunday afternoon we left for Jinja and have spent our days with Amazima ministries. We met with Katie and Brad (some of the ministry leaders), and tromped around on their land talking about dreams and visions for their new secondary school. It is beautiful out here! The Amazima land especially is full of bountiful mango and banana trees, yams, and other wild growing food. Today the architecture team spent time digging into the details with Amazima leaders. The civil and structual engineering teams spent most of their day out on site taking structual readings on the soil and digging holes for perc tests. I spent my day traveling around Jinja town with a sweet Ugandan man named Andrew. He kindly helped translate as we went in to many shops and gathered data and pricing for electrical construction materials.

Our EMI project team has been fun, full of new and old faces. I look forward to working with them all as we continue to develop a site master plan for Amazima ministries secondary school.

Also, I can't wait for my few days to be spent in Kampala. I will be spending precious time with Doors and other old friends. ANND my new housemate from Kansas City will be joining us in Kampala! Christine is awesome and has some crazy cool connections from spending a few summers in Uganda. She and I decided to simplify our travel by having a traveling buddy on the way home. We also are praying about doing some exciting ministry stuff together back in KC and want to spend some intentional time with Doors Ministries in light of that.... If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please catch up with me when I get home. I would love to share more! It's kinda crazy and kinda totally exciting!

SOOO, that's all. Have a nice day. And good night :)
SForbes

Kisses for Sammy

So...I'm going back! Really.

It's ok if you don't believe it at first. I didn't either. In fact, I sat for about a month just not believing it. (I sat for the next month procrastinating a blog post... but I digress...)

Before I go too much further, I would like to clarify that I'm just going back for a few weeks! A brief but wonderful 14 days. Due to my lack of blogging, a few people thought I was just picking up my bags and out the door for good. But... I have an actual job now that I can't quite just leave at the drop of a hat (Unless Jesus asked me to. Of course I would then.)

Here's the summary: (aka what you're probably curious about)

February 1-10 - First of all, I am joining Engineering Ministries International (EMI) on a short term project trip. We will be doing the design and site master planning for a secondary school for Amazima, in Jinja. This is the ministry started by Katie Davis (you may have read the book Kisses from Katie). I was originally meant to go on this project trip during my 6 month internship, but it was delayed. Now I get a second chance! I will spend time helping out the designers with some of my computer software skills (AutoCAD, Sketchup, and the like) and spend some time doing construction planning. Hopefully I'll be able to get around town and get some pricing and get to know some local suppliers in Jinja, and put together some initial cost estimates. The amazing part about this trip through EMI is that it is almost fully funded. I had some support leftover from my internship... so THANK YOU! You have made this second missionary journey to Uganda a wildly unimaginable possibility for me. Dear supporters, thank you!

February 10-13 - The second part of my journey is much less structured, but it will be heavily focused on time with Doors Ministries, back in my stomping grounds of Kampala. If you followed my blog before, you know that Doors Ministries was started by some disciples of the Lord who saw the need for Ugandan street boys to be discipled in a safe and loving home. The uncles and aunties of Doors Ministries branched out from there to start a school in the nearby slum (to help prevent the cycle of kids becoming street kids), and started a women's ministry to reach out to the single mothers in their community. I am paying for the difference in my trip cost, and asking that if you wish to support me, please donate to Doors Ministries. You can donate through the paypal link on their blog: 

http://hispicketfence.blogspot.com/

Or by mailing a check to their office:

Doors Ministries

282 Lee Road

Cottontown, TN 37048

Just mention my name in the donation comments, or on the memo line and I'll find out about it!

Here's the heart of the matter: (aka the sappy stuff that I used to blog about all the time)

I didn't believe my God was this good. When I first found out about the opportunity to return to Uganda this soon, I was shocked and overjoyed and then immediately skeptical. This seems too good to be true. There is an almost all-expense paid trip back to Uganda. I'll get to help out with construction planning for a project I already feel passionately about. I'll have the chance to see almost all of the Ugandan and Uganda missionary faces I love so much. And I have plenty of vacation days and the blessing of my boss to go. That MUST be too good to be true. I left an invitation email sitting in my inbox for weeks, untouched. And then a friend asked me, "Why wouldn't you go?" My only real answer was, "It seems too good; too perfect." Translation: I don't think my God is good. I (yet again) don't trust that he has good for me. But oh how He does! He has kisses waiting for me in Uganda. He is sweet, loving, kind, and so good. So good to me.

Remember today how good He is. Read about it in His word, or reflect on it in your life, or cling to that promise even if it doesn't feel true right now.

More updates to come...most notably I have to tell you about who else is coming to Uganda with me! Teaser alert!

Thanks for your love and support!
SForbes
(Sorry for the lack of pictures...Color me lazy.)

Rooted – in Kampala or KC

Note to followers: If you do not care to read about my reflections from the last few weeks (totally valid!) then please feel free to scroll to the bottom. There is a hodge-podge of pictures from my last few weeks in Kampala at the end!

Seasons Change

Two days ago I lived in a country where a shift from 75F to 72F meant I was grabbing for my sweater or jacket. That’s not an exaggeration. But today I woke up in my home country and watched a squirrel climb through the trees instead of a gray monkey. I stepped outside to a breezy 50F, supposedly in the middle of summer where 90F is normal. Seasons change. They just do. Often unpredictably (especially if you live in the US Midwest).

Usually I’m really good with change. I kinda thrive on it. I love the movement, variety, excitement of change. I love new people, new experiences, new routines. But in case I’ve been too cryptic in my last few blog posts- I’ll just say it: I’ve been dreading this change for weeks. Months even. This change from Kampala, Uganda back to Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Let me qualify this just a bit. I’ve been STOKED about the chance to hug my sweet nephew, see all your beautiful faces in person instead of on my computer screen, talk to you instead of email you, and eat lots of cheese. But now there’s a whole new set of faces that I miss. There’s a sweet girl named Monica at that orphanage whose reaction I dread when I don’t show up next week. There’s a group of young, handsome boys that left a life of pursuing survival on the street for a life of pursuing God that I don’t get to play or worship with next Saturday. There’s a bunch of beautiful families that I don’t get to have an active role in anymore. There’s an innumerable amount of dear brothers and sisters that I don’t get to laugh, grow, and walk with daily.

And there’s a sense of dependency that I’m worried I’ll lose. (My friend, Rebecca Burgess, just wrote a blog post about her return to the US that echoes my thoughts exactly: allisgrace.blog.com.) There’s this dependency on the Lord that I require to survive while living in Uganda. There are a thousand cultural issues, convenience issues, and heartbreak issues that I can’t handle on my own. And I have about zero of my usual “home” comforts to run to in times of need. So I run to Jesus. Now that I’m back in the land of my usual comforts, my challenge is to remember that they don’t satisfy. They aren’t enough. I always ought to run to Jesus. (Disclaimer: I write this as I’m sitting in my comfy chair and wearing my soft silky robe. I’m not saying the home comforts are bad…)

OK- long story short. This transition is hard. Not exactly fun. I don't really know how to handle it. I feel like I was just starting to figure life out in Africa, and now I am back in KC and I must start over. But a few things give me great hope. First, I know my God is good. Which means his purposes are good. Which means his ways for accomplishing his purposes are good. So even this “way” is good. Second, suffering produces righteousness. Yippee! I love me some righteousness of Christ! (See Hebrews 12:11 and Romans 5:1-5.) Third, it’s all rather short-lived.

Journal excerpt from July 28^th, 2013:

This is ALL short-lived. Two days ago I was there, now I am here, and in a few more days I’ll be in heaven. In light of this, my transition doesn’t seem so daunting. It’s not a process of uprooting and transplanting my roots every time. Because if I am becoming “rooted” (mizizi in Luganda), then my roots are going deeper and deeper in the one thing- YOU. My container may change- from a square red pot to a round blue one, or from Kampala to Kansas City- but my roots can keep digging deeper and deeper into the same dark, rich soil of knowing you, my God.

The Fruit of Your Labor

Thank you for sending me. I was sent out by the Lord and by you to go and serve in another context. In light of the sacrifice you made for the sake of the Kingdom, I wanted to share a few ways that fruit has been produced during this time in Uganda. I will freely share with you in person, too, when I see you! But only as much as you want to hear (because otherwise I could talk for ages). Personally, I have been extremely blessed and cultivated during this time. I also rejoice that the Lord used me to serve others and meet specific needs. As we wrapped up our term with EMI, we did a few closeout and processing exercises. Here is a snippet of some review questions I answered that hopefully summarize the fruit of your labor well:

Do you think you have grown spiritually during your time in Uganda?  How?  Have you changed as a result of being here (behavior, attitude, worldview)?  In what areas is God challenging you to grow?

Yes, the Lord has grown my faith during this time in Uganda. My view of him has expanded to understand more of his heart towards me, towards those suffering in poverty, and towards orphans. He has been challenging me to trust him more: with big things like job decisions, hopes for marriage and children, or a missions calling and with small things like what should take priority in my day and what words of encouragement someone needs. He continues to challenge me with my lack of trusting him. 

Overall, do you feel like you have accomplished what you came here to do?  Do you feel like God has accomplished his purposes in bringing you here?

Even if my own purposes for coming were not fulfilled, I have learned that it is inconsequential. The Lord’s purposes prevail, and I am sure that they have in His bringing me here. He has begun a good work in me- softening my heart towards the needy, teaching me to trust him more, and creating a hunger for authentic community and relationships. And I humbly rejoice that he has accomplished other purposes through me as well- serving eMi families as a babysitter, designing needed facilities, showing love to forgotten children, and exhorting others in the Lord.

What have you learned professionally / technically?  Has eMi EA helped to prepare you for a professional career?

I have gained a lot of cross-training in the field of architectural design, which I am sure will benefit me in the construction management field. As a CM intern I have also had the opportunity to do cost estimating and project scheduling. This is extremely beneficial experience for my upcoming position as a Project Engineer. The greatest form of professional growth has been simply learning from my superiors and garnering experience and wisdom from them.

A Heart of Thanks

This week, as I took one of my last boda (motorcycle taxi) rides from the supermarket back to my neighborhood of Kansanga, I wanted to cry (shocking, I know). I prayed, “Lord please cultivate a heart of thankfulness in me! I don’t want to just be sorrowful! I want to rejoice in the blessing and be thankful!” Just then, we drove over the crest of a hill and I saw a breathtaking view of the city. The seven hills of Kampala were dotted with sparkles- corrugated metal roofs shimmering in the bright sunlight. It was an instant recipe for thankfulness.

I am so grateful to the Lord, My God, for how he has loved me and blessed me. He chose me, sent me, and used me. And despite my mistakes and waywardness he still chooses me, sends me, and uses me.

And I am soooo thankful to you. Thank you to each of you from home who sent me, supported me, prayed for me, and loved me. You have been a beautiful demonstration of Christ in this way. Thank you to each of you in Uganda who accepted me, encouraged me, served with me, discipled me, and loved me. You have been a beautiful demonstration of Christ in this way.

And thank goodness that this blog is over! As I’ve mentioned before- I no longer feel compelled to be painfully vulnerable to the world wide web of anyone. Now I can just be vulnerable in a normal one-on-one basis. Whew! I’m not sure what to do with it now…do I just leave it out there for the blogosphere to swallow up? Leave it out there for when I return to Uganda? Not sure. Anyway…

You May Have Just Returned to the US from Kampala If:

-drinking tap water seems really strange... and a bit rebellious even.

-you gave yourself a high-five when you stayed on the right side of the road driving this morning.

-any unknown situation doesn't really phase you; after all the people will speak your language and won't be strangely offended by an unknown cultural blunder...

Praises:

-The sweet sweet blessing of my last days in Kampala. They were filled with love, joy, and peace.

-The success of Mom, Dad, and I making it home safely. There was some doubt of whether or not they would get me to board the plane...

-For relationships; here and there. I look forward to the continuation of both.

Prayer Requests:

-I sound like a broken record: but please continue to pray that I'll maintain a thankful attitude! I am missing lots of people A LOT and I don't want to become bitter or grouchy. I just want to be thankful for what has been and thankful for what is now.

-A dear family at home has lost a loved one this week. Please pray for the Rogers family as they mourn the loss of a son, brother, husband, and father.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING

SForbes

One of our last nights all together, the EMI and Doors Ministries boys put on a special night for all the Ladies. It started with some flowers and a letter that told us to get dressed up!

It led to a beautiful candlelight dinner, complete with entertainment (Aladin), yummy homemade dinner (some favorite Ugandan dishes), and out of this world deserts (all the girls favorites from double chocolate cake to mango cheesecake...)

And finished with flowers, cards, and prayers for each one of us from each one of them. So special!

If that's not the handsomest and most beautiful group of people you've ever seen- you may be crazy.

The last week in Kampala, I stayed with the Jacksons while Mom and Dad came to visit!

Cooking together! My real and adopted families got along well together :)

Last day at Nsambya Babies Home. There were a few tears...

This dear heart is Monica. 

Mom and Dad got to meet my precious babies. That's Dad with Innocent and Whitney.

There's Momma with Joseph in her arms and Joram running up to her. She fit right in.

Alex, Me, Betty, Brie, and Madi. A group I'll miss so much!

Little Kevina at the Jackson's compound. Only got her to smile with some tickles :)

Dad and Lachie got along pretty well, I guess.

Forbes + Jackson kids

Forbes and Jacksons (Americans and Aussies) all dolled up to go out the the Little Donkey- a Mexican restaurant run by a British guy in Uganda. Now that's diversity.

All the kids at the Jackson compound. Myself included of course.

Showing Mom and Dad around town.

This is Rachel, my compassion child from Kasese, Uganda. She came all the way to Kampala to spend a day with us!

She is precious! So glad we got to meet her in person!

I hardly have enough pictures to capture the joy of my last day in Uganda. After about 15 heart-wrenching and tearful goodbyes- these tricky guys surprised me and met up with us all at the Uganda Zoo for a day full of laughs. THANK YOU SO MUCH. That's Edwin and Timothy.

Richard looking smart.

Morris, me, and Bwanika. Soaking up some beach time on Lake Victoria before a long long long plane ride.

Thanks and Trust

I have not found the time to blog lately...I've been soaking up all the Uganda that I can these last few weeks. Precious last moments (for at least a while) with these precious friendships. But...

Mom and Dad arrive TOMORROW. I am giddy.

I leave Uganda 1 week from tomorrow. I am a mess.

What do I do with the emotions? I find myself in a wickedly vicious emotional swing...full of sorrow or full or joy. How would the Lord have me handle these thoughts, feelings, and actions? How am I to respond?

Jesus Calling, July 7th:

TRUST ME IN ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. I know that some thoughts are unconscious or semi-conscious, and I do not hold you responsible for those. But you can direct conscious thoughts much more than you  may realize. Practice thinking in certain ways- trusting Me, thanking Me- and those thoughts become more natural. Reject negative or sinful thoughts as soon as you become aware of them. Don't try to hide them from Me; confess them and leave them with Me. Go on your way lightheartedly. This method of controlling your thoughts will keep your mind in My Presence your feet on the path of Peace.

That's it. Thanks and Trust. When I am overwhelmed with joy (for my parents arrival, for a great time with friends here, for the blessing of a sweet child's smile...), I am meant to turn that joy into joy for the sake of Christ. Enjoyment is not an end in itself. Enjoyment is a means to the end of glorifying God. When I am overwhelmed with fears or sorrow (for leaving this place I love, for missing people, for reverse culture shock...), I am meant to turn that negative emotion into something that will glorify my God. Trusting Him and resting in His goodness. Rejoicing in the way suffering produces righteousness and draws me to His arms.

Mom and Dad arrive TOMORROW. I am giddy. I am thankful.

I leave Uganda 1 week from tomorrow. I am a mess. I must trust.

Thanks for listening.
SForbes

PS- I can't WAIT to see you back home!!

Numbers and Days...

I have little insight or deep thoughts to share with you today. My mind is just buzzing with numbers and days.

4 days ago...the most precious little boy you've ever seen turned 1 year old. ONE. How did that happen so fast?

3 days ago...Two women accepted Jesus in a remote fishing village on an island after hearing a few mzungu's (white people) speak about the Good News. PTL!!

Time will not slow down for me it seems.

In 1 day...America has it's birthday while I'm in Uganda. We'll be celebrating with a watermelon eating contest, cookout, and *hopefully* some sparklers if we can find them at the market in downtown Kampala.

In 4 days...I will visit Sam (from Doors Ministries) at his boarding school in Kampala and say goodbye.

In 10ish days...I need to finish a construction estimate for my current eMi project. Eeek!

In 15 days...I get to see MOM AND DAD!!!!!!!!!!!

In 16-22 days....I have to say more goodbyes than I care to think about right now.

In 23 days...I will be in America. What? How did that sneak up on me so fast? This one also means that I will get to see YOU!

In 40 days...I will be at WORK in AMERICA. Crazy crazy crazy. My life does not seem real.


Speaking of real, I'll be real with you for a second. I am not going to continue blogging when I get home. "An Engineer in Uganda" blog doesn't quite make sense in America. Want to know a secret? I am really kinda excited to not have to always be so vulnerable and transparent with the world wide web of anyone! I look forward to continuing this openness and vulnerability with all you who I know and love- so you can help keep me accountable with that.

But, since I'm not yet there (America), and I still feel compelled (by the Lord or myself, I'm not sure) to share my journey with you, here's this: 

Do you ever struggle with believing the prosperity gospel? A gospel that says if you trust/love/honor/give to God enough- you will experience success in the world. Material success, job success, family success, relationship success... any old kind of success you can think of that sounds good on earth. If I'm honest, I have unwittingly believed this lie before (in small part or in whole). It is a rampant lie in the American church and has ruthlessly worked it's way into the gospel in Uganda, too. Often, people want to hear Mzungu's talk about God- because most mzungu's are wealthy- and so we obviously have a better understanding of God since we're so materially blessed. Yikes, right!? So, just to prove that prosperity on earth is not something we should be chasing OR something that is promised in the gospel message of Jesus Christ...

Jesus says, in Luke 6:24-26
"What sorrow awaits you who are rich, for you have your only happiness now.
What sorrow awaits you who are fat and prosperous now, for a time of awful hunger awaits you.
What sorrow awaits you who laugh now, for your laughing will turn to mourning and sorrow.
What sorrow awaits you who are praised by the crowds, for their ancestors also praised false prophets."

Eeek. Gut check. So, maybe, just maybe...don't chase/crave/treasure happiness and prosperity on earth. Sure, the Lord is good and he often pours out earthly blessings. But he's mostly in the business of receiving glory and dishing out eternal blessings as a bonus.

Praises:
-My precious nephew turning 1. That just rocks.
-The women who accepted Christ this weekend. That rocks more.

Prayer Request:
-For continued attitude of thankfulness on my part- not sadness!
-For our time at the Nsambya Babies Home. It has been challenging lately as the kids are getting older and bigger (healthier, too!) And there just aren't enough loving arms to go around some days! Pray for the Lord to move in this place where I know his heart is so close!

You May Be Outside Kampala on a Remote Fishing Island If:
-Every day life is pretty much comparable to camping.
-Tribal dancing is abundant and exhausting!
-You smell fried cassava (a starchy root) and you immediately think you are smelling momma's homemade fried chicken. (I'm still craving it, Mom. Guess what my first request is when I get home?)

THANKS as always for EVERYTHING!
SForbes

Mozzarella Cheese

As you may have noticed, it has been a bit tough to muster up the desire to blog lately. I am in Uganda for one more month and two days- and blogging just hasn’t been jumping to the top of my list. Here’s the thing. I am soo excited to see you all. Can’t wait, really! And I’m excited to start my new job. And I am also really looking forward to eating some real mozzarella cheese (yes, that’s what I’ve been missing lately…) and momma’s fried chicken.

These pictures are from visiting my stand-in Mama, Janet, for her birthday last weekend

BUT, I loathe the thought of all these heart-wrenching goodbyes I have to make in T-1month2days. But thanks to my dear friend who just returned to the US (shout out Jessie!), I am trying something. For every time that something is so awesome that I just want to be sad for how much I’ll miss it- I instead focus on how extremely grateful I am for the blessing. Whatever it may be.

Hopefully that is enough of an excuse for my lack of blogging… In other news, work has been grrrreat! I’ve been posing as an architect the last few weeks and working on finalizing construction documents and doing 3D building renderings! I’m talking sketch-up, Photoshop, the whole 9 yards. Crazy out of my comfort zone and skill set. But crazy fun. And Lord-willing I will be working on the estimate and construction schedule for this project after a client meeting this week.

The Lord has been teaching me thousands of lessons. I have discovered how much he can teach me if I just walk ever closer with him. Tons of lessons in just a single day! He’s cool, isn’t he? And by cool, of course I mean amazingly kind and generous, so worthy, and unrelentingly loving. Anyway, I’ll just share one with you. Soo, orphans. If you’ve read any of my blogs- you know I’ve been volunteering at an orphanage a few hours a week. I’ve been digging in a bit to God’s heart on orphans, and just love this:

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15

Guess what God’s heart is for orphans? (PS Not pretending I know it all- or even half of it…) He calls for justice for the orphans and adoption into his family. Beautiful! “Oooh, ooh! Pick me! Lord, I want to do that! Adopt all these precious ones that I’ve grown to know and love so that I can teach them about YOUR family! Lord, yes please!”

But guess what else. I’m 100% sure that is not what I am supposed to be doing right now. Mostly, because it is illegal. I’m not 25 and I am not living in Uganda for the next 3 years. Also, I have only half of the whole “parent” thing to offer. They deserve a Daddy, too. But at least while I am here for the next month I get to pour into their lives and try to help them understand (at the tender young age of 2 or 3) that they MATTER. But soon, I won’t have an orphanage to volunteer at. Or a design project that will be serving orphans. So….then, what?

I’m not sure yet. But of this I am sure. When I get back to the states, if I’m not serving the “poor and needy, the widow and the orphan” then I am NOT living a biblical faith. I think I kinda faked
it before. Give a little money here, sponsor a child there. But that is not the way God has taught me to serve. He gives fully of his time, resources, emotion, and energy. He gives that freely to me. And so when he calls me to give, he wants me to do it in the SAME WAY. Is that what your giving looks like? In the words of Brooke Fraser and James, “Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead.” (Shout out to Reid for pointing me to Brooke Fraser’s song Albertine.)

Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Ps 82:3

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Is 1:17

Praises:
-Can I list them all? Just thank the Lord for how good he is. He is worthy of all our lives and devotion and praise without offering us anything in return. And yet he gives us eternal salvation, an ever present helper, peace and strength for each day, and amazingly blessed relationships with others. So, just praise him for all of that.

Prayer Requests:
-For my attitude to remain thankful!! not sorrowful as I approach goodbyes.
-For the precious kids at Nsambya Babies Home. Pray that the Lord would be near to them this week and love them through us.
-For project work and all my fellow staff and interns. The end of a term can be a stressful time as we push to finish all of the projects and reports before the interns leave.

You May be in Kampala if:
-Your kiwi companion takes you all sailing one day off a semi-deserted island on Lake Victoria. (Mostly I just wanted to point out here that I got to go sailing on Lake Victoria…)
-Great worship is often characterized by lots of tribal dancing. Hips often move in Uganda as an act of worship to our Lord- which is pretty fun!
-You cannot imagine a better snack than fried banana chips.

Uganda Cranes game!

Thank you all for your love and support. And thanks especially for reading!
SForbes

The Weakness

Excerpt from June 8th, 2013:

"...Lord, help me run fast to you on mornings like today. I feel especially weak today. And today I feel brokenhearted. Today I just want to cry and moan for the brokenness. For how a man can treat a woman in this world. For how a parent can treat a child. For how an orphan is abandoned. For how my family is so far away. Father, help me recognize this weakness as a good thing- a blessing even!

For when I am weak, then I am strong. Lord help me recognize my weakness as another way that you pursue me. You use my brokenness to push me into your arms. I love your arms. How they hold me. How they comfort me.

I love my King. How he saw no obstacle too great to COME FOR ME. Not his status as God; not his perfection against my sinfulness; not even his perfect understanding against my stupidity. Nothing was big enough to keep him from coming for me. Not even his own separation from the same relationship he offers to me with Almighty God was an obstacle too great for him.

What a love. What a lover."

I just wanted to share a reality that I've been learning lately. (We even talked about it at church this morning in Mark 10.) Really- I am in a constant state of weakness. I just pridefully and sinfully don't recognize it most of the time. But, especially lately, the Lord pursues me with the reality of my weakness so that I will draw near to him. And I recognize more and more how every circumstance I face- joyful or sad, blessing or curse- is always just meant to push me towards HIM. Accept these nudges from him, it is SO worth it.

Mark 10:49
When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you!"

2 Cor 12:9-10
Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.