Seasons Change
Two days ago I lived in a country where a shift from 75F to 72F meant I was grabbing for my sweater or jacket. That’s not an exaggeration. But today I woke up in my home country and watched a squirrel climb through the trees instead of a gray monkey. I stepped outside to a breezy 50F, supposedly in the middle of summer where 90F is normal. Seasons change. They just do. Often unpredictably (especially if you live in the US Midwest).
Usually I’m really good with change. I kinda thrive on it. I
love the movement, variety, excitement of change. I love new people, new
experiences, new routines. But in case I’ve been too cryptic in my last few
blog posts- I’ll just say it: I’ve been dreading this change for weeks. Months
even. This change from Kampala, Uganda back to Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Let me qualify this just a bit. I’ve
been STOKED about the chance to hug my sweet nephew, see all your beautiful
faces in person instead of on my computer screen, talk to you instead of email
you, and eat lots of cheese. But now there’s a whole new set of faces that I
miss. There’s a sweet girl named Monica at that orphanage whose reaction I
dread when I don’t show up next week. There’s a group of young, handsome boys
that left a life of pursuing survival on the street for a life of pursuing God
that I don’t get to play or worship with next Saturday. There’s a bunch of
beautiful families that I don’t get to have an active role in anymore. There’s
an innumerable amount of dear brothers and sisters that I don’t get to laugh,
grow, and walk with daily.
And there’s a sense of dependency that I’m worried I’ll
lose. (My friend, Rebecca Burgess, just wrote a blog post about her return to
the US that echoes my thoughts exactly: allisgrace.blog.com.)
There’s this dependency on the Lord that I require to survive
while living in Uganda. There are a thousand cultural issues, convenience
issues, and heartbreak issues that I can’t handle on my own. And I have about zero
of my usual “home” comforts to run to in times of need. So I run to Jesus. Now
that I’m back in the land of my usual comforts, my challenge is to remember
that they don’t satisfy. They aren’t enough. I always ought to run to Jesus.
(Disclaimer: I write this as I’m sitting in my comfy chair and wearing my soft
silky robe. I’m not saying the home comforts are bad…)
OK- long story short. This transition is hard. Not exactly fun. I don't really know how to handle it. I feel like I was just starting to figure life out in Africa, and now I am back in KC and I must start over. But a few things give me great hope. First, I know my God is good. Which means
his purposes are good. Which means his ways for accomplishing his purposes are
good. So even this “way” is good. Second, suffering produces righteousness.
Yippee! I love me some righteousness of Christ! (See Hebrews 12:11 and Romans 5:1-5.) Third, it’s all rather
short-lived.
Journal excerpt from July 28th, 2013:
This
is ALL short-lived. Two days ago I was there, now I am here, and in a few more
days I’ll be in heaven. In light of this, my transition doesn’t seem so
daunting. It’s not a process of uprooting and transplanting my roots every
time. Because if I am becoming “rooted” (mizizi in Luganda), then my roots are
going deeper and deeper in the one thing- YOU. My container may change- from a
square red pot to a round blue one, or from Kampala to Kansas City- but my
roots can keep digging deeper and deeper into the same dark, rich soil of
knowing you, my God.
The Fruit of Your Labor
Thank you for sending me. I was sent out by the Lord and by
you to go and serve in another context. In light of the sacrifice you made for
the sake of the Kingdom, I wanted to share a few ways that fruit has been
produced during this time in Uganda. I will freely share with you in person,
too, when I see you! But only as much as you want to hear (because otherwise I could talk for ages). Personally, I
have been extremely blessed and cultivated during this time. I also rejoice
that the Lord used me to serve others and meet specific needs. As we wrapped up
our term with EMI, we did a few closeout and processing exercises. Here is a
snippet of some review questions I answered that hopefully summarize the fruit of your
labor well:
Do you think you have
grown spiritually during your time in Uganda?
How? Have you changed as a result
of being here (behavior, attitude, worldview)?
In what areas is God challenging you to grow?
Yes, the Lord
has grown my faith during this time in Uganda. My view of him has expanded to
understand more of his heart towards me, towards those suffering in poverty,
and towards orphans. He has been challenging me to trust him more: with big
things like job decisions, hopes for marriage and children, or a missions
calling and with small things like what should take priority in my day and what
words of encouragement someone needs. He continues to challenge me with my lack
of trusting him.
Overall, do you feel like
you have accomplished what you came here to do?
Do you feel like God has accomplished his purposes in bringing you here?
Even
if my own purposes for coming were not fulfilled, I have learned that it is
inconsequential. The Lord’s purposes prevail, and I am sure that they have in
His bringing me here. He has begun a good work in me- softening my heart
towards the needy, teaching me to trust him more, and creating a hunger for
authentic community and relationships. And I humbly rejoice that he has
accomplished other purposes through me as well- serving eMi families as a
babysitter, designing needed facilities, showing love to forgotten children,
and exhorting others in the Lord.
What have you learned
professionally / technically? Has eMi EA
helped to prepare you for a professional career?
I
have gained a lot of cross-training in the field of architectural design, which
I am sure will benefit me in the construction management field. As a CM intern
I have also had the opportunity to do cost estimating and project scheduling.
This is extremely beneficial experience for my upcoming position as a Project
Engineer. The greatest form of professional growth has been simply learning
from my superiors and garnering experience and wisdom from them.
A Heart of Thanks
This week, as I took one of my last boda (motorcycle taxi)
rides from the supermarket back to my neighborhood of Kansanga, I wanted to cry
(shocking, I know). I prayed, “Lord please cultivate a heart of thankfulness in
me! I don’t want to just be sorrowful! I want to rejoice in the blessing and be
thankful!” Just then, we drove over the crest of a hill and I saw a
breathtaking view of the city. The seven hills of Kampala were dotted with
sparkles- corrugated metal roofs shimmering in the bright sunlight. It was an instant
recipe for thankfulness.
I am so grateful to the Lord, My God, for how he has loved
me and blessed me. He chose me, sent me, and used me. And despite my mistakes and waywardness he
still chooses me, sends me, and uses me.
And I am soooo thankful to you. Thank you to each of you
from home who sent me, supported me, prayed for me, and loved me. You have been
a beautiful demonstration of Christ in this way. Thank you to each of you in
Uganda who accepted me, encouraged me, served with me, discipled me, and loved
me. You have been a beautiful demonstration of Christ in this way.
And thank goodness that this blog is over! As I’ve mentioned
before- I no longer feel compelled to be painfully vulnerable to the world wide
web of anyone. Now I can just be vulnerable in a normal one-on-one basis. Whew!
I’m not sure what to do with it now…do I just leave it out there for the
blogosphere to swallow up? Leave it out there for when I return to Uganda? Not
sure. Anyway…
You May Have Just Returned to the US from Kampala If:
-drinking tap water seems really strange... and a bit rebellious even.
-you gave yourself a high-five when you stayed on the right side of the road driving this morning.
-any unknown situation doesn't really phase you; after all the people will speak your language and won't be strangely offended by an unknown cultural blunder...
Praises:
-The sweet sweet blessing of my last days in Kampala. They were filled with love, joy, and peace.
-The success of Mom, Dad, and I making it home safely. There was some doubt of whether or not they would get me to board the plane...
-For relationships; here and there. I look forward to the continuation of both.
Prayer Requests:
-I sound like a broken record: but please continue to pray that I'll maintain a thankful attitude! I am missing lots of people A LOT and I don't want to become bitter or grouchy. I just want to be thankful for what has been and thankful for what is now.
-A dear family at home has lost a loved one this week. Please pray for the Rogers family as they mourn the loss of a son, brother, husband, and father.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING
SForbes
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| One of our last nights all together, the EMI and Doors Ministries boys put on a special night for all the Ladies. It started with some flowers and a letter that told us to get dressed up! |
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| It led to a beautiful candlelight dinner, complete with entertainment (Aladin), yummy homemade dinner (some favorite Ugandan dishes), and out of this world deserts (all the girls favorites from double chocolate cake to mango cheesecake...) |
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| And finished with flowers, cards, and prayers for each one of us from each one of them. So special! |
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| If that's not the handsomest and most beautiful group of people you've ever seen- you may be crazy. |
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| The last week in Kampala, I stayed with the Jacksons while Mom and Dad came to visit! |
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| Cooking together! My real and adopted families got along well together :) |
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| Last day at Nsambya Babies Home. There were a few tears... |
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| This dear heart is Monica. |
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| Mom and Dad got to meet my precious babies. That's Dad with Innocent and Whitney. |
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| There's Momma with Joseph in her arms and Joram running up to her. She fit right in. |
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| Alex, Me, Betty, Brie, and Madi. A group I'll miss so much! |
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| Little Kevina at the Jackson's compound. Only got her to smile with some tickles :) |
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| Dad and Lachie got along pretty well, I guess. |
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| Forbes + Jackson kids |
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| Forbes and Jacksons (Americans and Aussies) all dolled up to go out the the Little Donkey- a Mexican restaurant run by a British guy in Uganda. Now that's diversity. |
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| All the kids at the Jackson compound. Myself included of course. |
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| Showing Mom and Dad around town. |
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| This is Rachel, my compassion child from Kasese, Uganda. She came all the way to Kampala to spend a day with us! |
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| She is precious! So glad we got to meet her in person! |
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| I hardly have enough pictures to capture the joy of my last day in Uganda. After about 15 heart-wrenching and tearful goodbyes- these tricky guys surprised me and met up with us all at the Uganda Zoo for a day full of laughs. THANK YOU SO MUCH. That's Edwin and Timothy. |
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| Richard looking smart. |
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| Morris, me, and Bwanika. Soaking up some beach time on Lake Victoria before a long long long plane ride. |
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